The Alternatives

Hello, Motherlovers You know what feels lovely? Knowing I can fart in front of my partner and not have to worry about whether or not the hot wings I ate last night are going to be putrid in the breeze headed the direction that my partner stands in. It is so soothing knowing the one I love won’t judge me for my bodily excretions. But, It wasn’t always that these happy days existed. It seems like just yesterday I was having to hide the erupting bubbles that exploded in my belly as punishment for not letting them exit. As he sat there talking to me about his favorite Dragon Ball episode, all I could think of was when the fuck he was going to go the fucking restroom so I can – ahem – let’er rip. The struggle is real. Now, I know there are people out there who can’t fart in front of anyone – or so I’ve heard. And that is some fucking effort. I know for a fact after a few minutes, I am already regretting the decision of holding it in. Like, you can HEAR them in my stomach,

Hello, Motherlovers. I write to you today as I prepare my partner some burgers. But since we have no burger buns, I have to improvise amd make him a Texas Patty. Minus the Texas toast, just regular...toast? Oh well. And as I do this, he sits at our office/kitchen dining room finishing some invoices and preparing to load the bong. Which we have appropriately named The Riddler due to it's green "trees". Of all to say, my relationship is not the most perfect. But I love it and would have it no other way. From the day we met to present day. An amazing journey. And August has helped cement and make our bond stronger. So, yes, It has it's flaws. Yet one thing my partner and I do a lot of is communicate. We always communicate - that and we live together. We are bound to talk at one point or another. But all jokes aside, communication is key. A lot of us want mind readers. I would know. I expect my partner to be one at a times. Just like he does with me. Just

Amazing how such an astronomical event was able to bring us all together to marvel at how small we are. Just a speck. And, you had to but special equipment just to properly view the show. But is there really a price on celestial events? I was in the office working, and since we were pretty slow, I made a small viewing device , but sadly, it did not work. Luckily, we had welding glasses and in that way were able to watch. But, it was way too hyped, unless you were in the path of Totality. At least it wasn't hot. Was it visible over yonder, nuggets? Muah.

You  just couldn’t wait until I left. You just fucking couldn’t. To think all this time you ran behind my back. Did you ever even love me? Did it occur to you that all this may have been real for me? Did your heart ever have room in there for me or was it all just a lie? Was I a replacement for somebody else? A feel-good fuck? Ahh! You had to bring this slut into our home! Into OUR home! Where our children sleep!. Where I cradled you in my arms when you were to weak to fight. How fucking dare you betray everything we stood for. How fucking DARE YOU!?! Everything we helped build. What am I going to tell the kids? What am I going to tell my kids? How am I going to explain this? Shit. Shit. Fuuuck! They can’t know. How are they going to understand? That I- It’s ok. I got it. I got this. It's ok. Shit. Ok. Think. I need to think. How do I get rid of two bodies? How do I fucking move them? Think, Linda, think.

Hey Motherlovers. I can see that the majority of those who read my blog, or maybe just visit it, are in the United States. The rest of you lovelies are scattered in the other side of the pond. What are the daily events over there? What is grinding your gears? Have you heard what is happening over here? White Supremacist and Neo-Nazi's having rallies and killing protesters. Here in Texas, on September 1st, there will be a new law that is already in place in Arizona. It will allow cops to ask for your papers to prove you are a citizen. Now, one reason I want to stay out of the politics is because I am so tired of hearing and living it on a daily basis. I feel my whole life is revolving over these issues. I am not saying they aren't important because they are, I just am so tired of hearing the same fucking thing. President Trump tweeted today that the Russian Investigation is the biggest witch-hunt in history Trump says North Korea will be met with 'Fire an

Hello, Motherlovers!!!!!!!! How are we doing on this fine weekday? Would you rather fall to your death into a dark pit or would you rather fall to your death landing in open, deep sea creature infested waters? I guess that the only thing that is hard here is knowing and trying to decide what type of death would take me the quickest, and in which I would feel less pain and which choice would give me any chance of survival, no matter how minimal. Let's take a closer look. Choice A: Falling into the dark pit. We fall into a dark pit. Is there a flat surface at the bottom of this dark pit? Are there carnivorous animals, or humans, down there waiting to eat me? Will there be supernatural creatures that will be there to harvest my body and drink my soul? Will I land on spikes? In another universe? Is this pit the Gates of Hell? Or will I just fall down, break every bone in my body and die a slow and painful death? Or just fall and die on impact? We just can't se

Morning, Nuggets, Word of the day: Setback. Seems like this morning was chock-full of them. Setback here, and a setback there. Here a setback, there a setback, everywhere a setback. Oh this day had a shit ton of setbacks! E! I! E! I! OOOOOOOO!!!!! That was in a span of two hours and twenty minutes. I’ve like six more hours to go, y’all. Lately, that’s what It feels like. Setback after setback. Yea, that afterglow has seemed to fade. #Faded. I don’t know about everyone else, though, I’d like to say I feel I have a pretty good handle on the situations at hand. I feel confident on what’s coming. I can’t say why I think I feel like this. Or it could be like the calm before the storm, then BAM- You’ve sunk my battleship! Anywho…. I feel, personally, the sooner I get my shit together, here comes life with all it’s glory ready to smite me with hard knocks. Life is a mother fucker; as soon as it smells greatness inching towards me to bless me and it f

Morning, Motherlovers, I recently got in a crash. And it was so impacting that I am beginning to view things in a new light. A much more positive one. An ‘afterglow’ as I will call it. So blunt it was that it leaves me radiating with new hope and views and dare I say, new wants and desires. A new vision of life. I call it that because it seems to be a phasing side effect of prior events that can rapidly decline, like a high. All I can think of is how things could have been entirely different, how life changing this event may have been had there been just 1 addition of any kind. I never realized how much power the number 1 could hold. Had there been one car in my way, the situation, in no exaggerated form, would have been ten times worse than where it stands today. Had there been just one person in my way, I would not be as relieved as I am now. I would have been screwed. Fuck. It took a dire circumstances for me to get my shit together. And I never intend