Morning Fun

Know the best way to start the day?

Wake up and smoke some of the healthy herb and pet your cat that won’t stop meowing until you bend over to pet him, and once you do that you only get one stroke in because he decided he’s fed up with your shit.

But he’ll be back. They always are.

So, you go and make some coffee to be ready when you get out of the shower, open the patio doors and let that morning Texas air fill the living room.

Pretty great start so far.

Get dressed, find a clean shirt to wear to work, since we haven’t done laundry and been putting it off like everything else in life.

Like petting the cat.

Prepare your coffee, head out the door at the same time with your partner; give them a kiss good bye as you part ways to each of your cars.

As you get into your car, place your coffee in the cup holder and place your items on the passenger seat to rest and while you do that, the handle on your purse or whatever in your case, will somehow grab your coffee cup and throw it against your seats.

But since we decided on the leather seats, that cup is going to bounce up like your ass on the weekends and spray the whole fucking car, including your face.

Michael Scott would have gone to town with that one.

Good thing I added creamer in that bitch. Fucking A.

And then drive your ass to work because we don’t let petty obstacles get in the way.

Hashtag like a boss.

And once the work day is over, take your covfefe ass to happy hour.

Did I use that right?

Much love, motherlovers.

Muah.

Barbie Lissette.