The Alternatives

It is cold in here. Well, finally we approach a new year and in Texas, a new season...winter, which will last maybe up until March, but we are in Texas, so....sunny days?? How were your Holidays??? Ready to celebrate the new year? I am. I think we know that. You? This year will be to put our talking to the walking. School, job, attitude. All three that deserve, and are welcoming, the change you need. I know it can be scary to jump, but it will be the best thing you have done all year. You will land on a whole other cliff, which soon, you will have to leap from all over again. This life is about discovery and excitement. We can no longer find it when we stay in the same spot and realized we've visited the same corner countless times. I have been stuck in the same spot, and have been so damn scared to leave, to jump. But it is human nature to keep going, to keep your dreams alive. We can't be part of the world that lets dreams die, if we do, we let ourselves down, no

You guys, it has been a long ass time!!! Writing on a slow ass tablet....Thanks Verizon! Anyways, how are we doing, lovers?! How are the poems?! Speaking of, I passed my classes!!!! Journalism, watch out!!! Yaaaaasss, bitch!!! Wassup?!? Feels good to know that life moves forward and only on. I just asked for a raise and those sons of bitches let me down. So, I get to look for a new job...any suggestions? Or openings??? Weird, but I know I'm fine, and I'll find something even better!! Because we have to keep a good attitude. What a world! What a world..... I LITERALLY have been wanting to have a change, honestly, I have been dreaming and waiting for this moment for such a long time, and it is here. Time to move on to a new job, new life as A MARRIED WOMAN, and look forward to all the new and exciting changes. Remember, the only constant in your life should be change...if not, are you really living?? Merry Christmas, YA FILTHY ANIMAL!!!! MUAH, Barbie Lissette

The window was wiped clean this time, not even the stroke of the damp cloth that had skimmed its surface was visible. The light shone in through it without any bents or distortion. Just straight in like it always does. Beyond the window, the grass danced along to the rhythm of the wind. The dew on the grass made it seemed as if they naturally produced glitter, and the lake that ran alongside it, ebbed flawlessly. The fish jumped in and out of the water as if they danced along with the grass. In the distance, an owl, or maybe just a white bird, stares in through the window, I can’t really tell. As I sat down at my desk, I could feel my heart growing louder, even though, it barely moved. My thoughts were racing in my head, I could hardly contain myself. I sit here for what seems ever, yet, it ends before the fish can jump back out to dance. It all happens so quick, that I forget that it’s happened before: I walk in, take the pills, and sit down as I look out the window, the

You made me feel so alone. So, why did you stay? Because I loved you. How could you? After all I did to you? I never saw it as what you did to me, it was all you did for me. You knew my troubles and you set me free of them. But I lead you to damnation. I’d follow you to hell, if that’s where you’ve been headed. It’s been a long time coming. It has, my love. He shoots her once in the chest, and then turns it on himself. 

Sunny always Sunny evermore Even though the light shines day in and day out, it’s always cold Sunny always Sunny evermore Skin breaks as the rush of the cold, harsh winds are brought in as Apollo dies down Sunny always Sunny nevermore Nyx looks ever so exquisite now that he has gone Sunny always Sunny nevermore Yet it is dark out, even though she feels warm

Fucking A. So a schmoke and some wine while the husband cooks lasagna. Box dinner specialty. Yea, I got it like that. On the wine, those are Roscato Rose and Roscato Rosso, which is best. Anyways, This week has been a fun one - we've become owners of a new bed! All of it new! Real cheap too, on Amazon. This may not be anything of a big deal to most, but it is fucking amazing for us! Especially for me since I've never owned a brand new mattress. They've always been 'used'. Spare me your thoughts. Anyways, not only was the fact of getting a new bed exciting for us. For me, we were finally getting rid of the 'slut bed', or so I call it. But, Why? Duh - he's had that bed since fuck knows when, who knows how many cunts have been in there and set their juices in. Including mine! I moved in with him three years ago, in to his apartment, and since then we've had the same bed. We've always talked about getting a new one, b

Hello, Motherlovers. How many of us are sitting in front of their laptop wondering what to do with the day and realizing it is being wasted away every second you sit there and type away? No? Me neither. What silly creatures we all are. Today I got to thinking that no matter how rich and famous, or poor and unknown we are at the end of the day, just meat bags. Stand in front of your mirror and stare at yourself, naked. That is all you are and ever will be. That is your present, past, future. And all that is unique to you. What matters, is what that strong skull of yours protects. And, yet here we are, pretending our minuscule issues actually mean a damn. Realize we all go through the same ideas, and feelings, we just interpret them in our own way. Intelligent Life. I just heard news about an interstaller object that came and went on it's way. Never to return. I think about the endless number of asteroids and comets that go flying by every second, and we don't

Good Morning, Motherlovers.. Sometimes, I feel like a total cunt. I know I can be. Things I say come out so mean and hurtful sometimes and it is so natural to me to speak in such ways that it surprises me when people find something I say offensive, especially when, I think and hope, I choose my words carefully. And as a blogger, I don't do my best to choose my words carefully, I just speak'em and type'em, the way it would be had you and I had a conversation in person. That's just me typing, but let's backtrack to the conversation part, because when it comes to actually HAVING a conversation with in real life, it can go one or two ways. I can talk your ear off or I can have absolutely nothing to say. At all. No comment. No thoughts. Nothing. No matter how much I find the topic interesting and how long we've known each other has nothing to do with which way it goes. Does that make me a bitch? Because I don't feel like interacting 24/7? Do I

Motherlovers!! I used to think getting married at a young age was like leaving the party to early.. But, the fucking party was lame to begin with. Like, I said, I thought that. And in a way I still do, but not for myself. Fucking A, right? I think that for other women. Why? Because deep down in my cold, black heart, I truly believe I found my knight in streaked armor. My best friend that is the life of the party. And everyone who has ever met him, knows that’s a fact. Even his best friend wanted to marry him. In all seriousness, I wanted to marry the same guy, just years from now, and thought, why not now? Why, wait? I’ve come to the realization that life can end at any moment, for any reason – I’ve grasped the fact that, contrary to popular belief, I am mortal and since modern technology doesn’t hurry the fuck up, I can not, in fact, transfer my consciousness into a machine. So…until then… And as that thought came in, another one came right after – funny

Hey motherlovers, Does anyone still look up at clouds? I looked up just now, and it was majestic and grand in form over the light blue sky, that to me it appeared to be a phoenix. I haven't looked up in such a long time, it was refreshing. Nostalgic. Anyways.. I have been quiet for a bit? Did you miss me? Please confirm. Other than that this week was a fun one. My sisters and I went to the zoo yesterday, along with my nephews, from left to right, Me, my youngest sister with my oldest nephew, and my second youngest sister. I realized three things quickly... 1. Being an adult at the Zoo, not as fun as I thought it would be 2. It actually depressed me a bit 3. Being a parent seems, and must be, exhausting. I saw that only kids under the age of ten were brought out to the zoo. And that is a heck of a lot of energy already. Especially when they are excited about the caged animals. Oh, and that, just made me feel shitty. Poor animals, never

Evening, Motherlovers. Does anyone have children? And by children, I mean pets? My husband likes to say that he can only compare giving child birth to the worst pain he has experience, which is slamming his pinky toe - and he's had poison ivy. Therefore, I can only compared having children to owning pets. I kid. Here's the thing, every morning my cat feels it his duty to wake us up as soon as he is up. As soon as it turns five, he feels it is perfect timing. Chalupa Batman jumps at at the bed, all while meowing, and heads on over to my side, and comes and touches my face with his nose. I don't move, but it wakes me -  but only that half ass wake up. He sees me not moving, so he heads over to my belly and begins to press up and down, continuously, until I get up, and by then, he has already won. But, it doesn't end there. He needs food and water, and I have to open the door for him so he can get out to the balcony. Oh! And he likes to be pet, a lot. Soon, h

Hey Mother lovers, If you follow me on Facebook, you’ve noticed by now that I’ve fallen into a baking phase. I must be honest, I just like being able to serve sweets that others will enjoy. I see these delectables and wonder how I can make it and make it better. And it feels good when those who eat it, like it. Obviously. I pick recipes from Youtube, I have at least four channels I live for - I will post links down below for you, and I recommend checking them out. As of late though, I check on google for recipes and it leads me to other bloggers/websites. I have gotten two recipes for desserts already from a site called The Spruce . Amazing recipes, especially for beginners, like us. And they taste so good and are easily made, so far I tried the souffle  - which I will master GAWDAMNIT, and the vanilla cupcakes..which yes are just as good as they look: Baking, with no surprise, makes a big ol’ mess. Flour everywhere, egg whites drippings on the counter, and I am co

Twenty Nine My oh my Yes time flies   Twenty Eight Was yesterday Plus one has arrived   The sun shines On your parade Go on, have your cake   Twenty Nine What a lovely surprise Life has blessed you with one more ride .

Hey, everybody. On a much more lighter note, I'm not sure if I shared or not with all you nuggets, but I got married last month and so now I wear rings. That's right. Two. And if that isn't news to you, well it was to me! I thought there was only one, nope..turns out we get two rings. Dos. I mean, shit, the most jewelry I've ever worn has been my septum in my nose. But, when i was younger, I wore earings and maybe a necklace here and there, but it never really was my thing. Just no. I honestly think jewelry is a waste of money, but then again my mother loves it, and I did promise her nice ring..so there's that.. The exceptions, of course, are the special days, like Weddings. I have never really worn rings, ever, in my life. Well, except in high school for maybe a few months and thats it since it began to turn green, along with my skin.. Eeww... But other than that, never again. Geez, what a contradiction. Anyways, if you've kept up... As the day

Hello, Motherlovers. This morning I woke up to one of the deadliest mass shootings in U.S. History. As of now, there are at least 58 dead and at least 515 injured in Las Vegas. Some deranged being decided to hide like a coward from the 32nd floor of the Mandalay Hotel and shoot into a crowd of 22,000. There was a festival happening. Country Festival, I believe it was. In the infamous Las Vegas - You're out with your friends, and lover (or lovers..wink wink..) But instead of ending the night with drinks, or with a tale that would have been funny in the near future, instead that night was filled with terror. And all I could think of, no matter how selfish it may have been, is it could have been me. I love going to concerts. Just like every one of those people - but instead of enjoying what may have been to some, an amazing night, they lived their last moments in fear. They were so blind to what was just about to take place. What a way to enter October. It makes me so

Mother Lovers!!! Let’s just say this morning was a different morning. I woke up, coffee has been set up the night before, and I thought pancakes this morning would be a hell of a breakfast. So that’s what I did. A simple one, two and soon I had a plate full of delicious pancakes, coffee with this bad-the-fuck-ass creamer by International Delight that is flavored…Reese’s! Your welcome. I made myself busy even before my day started. It feels good to have something to do instead of laying in bed waiting for my alarm to go off! (Barbie, are you in there?!) All I can wait for now is for lunch to come around and put in an hour of reading my book to finish so I can already buy the next one. Also, I need to go see It. Busy bee, much? And right after work, you can bet your sweet ass I’ll be at the gym for half an hour cardio – baby steps. When a fire lights up in you is when your mind begins to think and act differently. It somehow has been rewired. Re-programmed to n

Motherlovers!!! So, anyone else watching #MasterChef right now? No? Just me??? Well, that is what I'm doing. I love that show. And, those 3 finalist!! I don't want to choose, but I gotta go with my boy Jason! Go Jason!!! Isn't all the weather shit crazy? I'm sure you've heard all about the hurricanes and earthquakes. Like some crazy apocalypse events! But, I am a firm believer in global warming, climate change whatever you want to call it, as long as the basic idea is the same - it's our fucking fault. But, yet there is that like bit in me who hopes that there is a machine that controls the weather. Wanna know why that is amazing? Because imagine all kinds of other fucking weapons and machines that are kept in secret!! If man can manipulate weather, you're telling me we can't reach the bottom of our oceans? I mean, I get that the pressure is strong, but can't we send tiny cameras down there with the capability to withstand that? They way

Nuggets. It is 11:04 in Texas. I just watched some True Blood , turned the lights off, pet the cat, got ready for bed, and for some reason all I can think of is the day I die. And how terrifying, yet comforting that idea sounds. How uplifting it will be to leave my old life behind. All my burdens and worries; my hate and my fears. One day, I will close my eyes and never open them again. And I have no Idea when or how that will be. And it scares me. It has always scared me. I dream of dying peacefully. Maybe in my bed, or in my lovers arms. But not before I do what I set out to do. But not many of us get that right. Some of us die before accomplishing what we want. And that fucking sucks. Close your eyes. See that? All that darkness and emptiness and the feeling of nothingness is what comes next. When it comes to religion, I am very skeptic, but in short, I am agnostic, because I do have hope tjat there is a god, albeit a malevolent one, but a huge part of me begins to

Gooooood Mooooooorning, Mooootherloveeers!!!!!! So, you see, now I do have coffee in hand... Addict*cough, cough* Yes. I made a whole batch of cookies last night. They are delicious. I should also take more pictures as I share with you all. Notes, guys, notes. I have picked up a lot of old hobbies I had that are actually beneficial to me. Like, I have picked up reading books again. I want to read at least 1 book a month, which will also help build up a library! As of now, I'm reading It by Stephen King. And it will be amazing fun to discover and learn new things and above all, books!! Open to suggestions as well! I had a coworker come to me as I was reading Gone with the Wind , and asked me why I have a book. Had I never heard of kindle? Well, seeing as how I already stare at a computer all day, carry a miniature computer in my pocket at all times, it just feels good to stare at something that isn't glaring my eyes with lights all day straining them. I already d

Motherlovers!!! Geez, this morning.. whatatumble. Yea. I am so used to having my morning joe, every morning, minimun two cups with a splash of creamer. Along with it I smoke, maybe, one or two bowls, get dress, grab lunch from the fridge, if I can and out the door. Nothing unusual. But, I take an English II class now. They are part of the core classes, so I have to knock it out, again. Anyways... The professor kindly told me I need to drink my joe outside the door, no way it was coming in the computer lab. Understandable. But, damn, did that suck. First. It was hot. Second. It kept me up to watch the movie, which was really good by the way. All the President's Men with Robert Bedford and Dustin Hoffman. Amazing film depicting the Watergate Scandal. I enjoyed myself. Now i have two papers to write, well more like 1 and an annotated  bibliography l, which, again, I already have done. Sigh. Sooooooooooooo Fast forward to the second class meeting, this morning, and we o

Hey, Motherlovers! Here we are, back at it again with a weekly - more like when she feels like blogging - dose of BARBIE! Not the plastic doll, the real one…wink wink. I love my partner. I do. Literally. But I can’t help if every single time I prepare a dish for me of snacks, and I see a hand not connected to MY forearm reaching out for MY plate of food, a slight sense of rage and hate spew out of pores! Call me a cunt, but I don’t like to share my fucking food. Don’t touch it. I’ve no idea, why and therapist around the world, please don’t diagnose me. Look away. At a very young age, my mother always told me I was very selfish and had, and still do, Mommy Dearest,  a heart of stone. I never liked to share what is mine. If for some reason, I had to share, I would simply get two of one and share it – so if I knew I was going to have another belly around, I would make two or four sandwiches or plates, one or two for each of us. Also, now that I am a grown up, I expect

Hello, Motherlovers. Today was such a weird day. All day I spent cooking. This morning I woke up, obviously, and made breakfast, which was hard boiled eggs for my partner and I. Soo after, I made chocolate chip peanut butter cookies. A whole batch! A few hours after that I made us each a hot dog. Hours after that, I cooked the whole bag of shrimp we've had, for lunch, and made them all today, half lemon pepper and the rest sea salt/black pepper. And right after that, I made 3 different versions of "boneless wings" - chopped boneless breast -: bbq, buffalo, and honey chipotle. Breaded. I have been in a cooking frenzy. Or I can only imagine extreme boredom on my part.I also have been reading "It" by S. King. I only begun last week and I'm already on Part 2, so I am very proud of myself since the last book I finished took me about five years on and off. So.... There's that. You have heard of Harvey...Have you seen Irma heading over?? GAWDDAMN!

Hello, Motherlovers You know what feels lovely? Knowing I can fart in front of my partner and not have to worry about whether or not the hot wings I ate last night are going to be putrid in the breeze headed the direction that my partner stands in. It is so soothing knowing the one I love won’t judge me for my bodily excretions. But, It wasn’t always that these happy days existed. It seems like just yesterday I was having to hide the erupting bubbles that exploded in my belly as punishment for not letting them exit. As he sat there talking to me about his favorite Dragon Ball episode, all I could think of was when the fuck he was going to go the fucking restroom so I can – ahem – let’er rip. The struggle is real. Now, I know there are people out there who can’t fart in front of anyone – or so I’ve heard. And that is some fucking effort. I know for a fact after a few minutes, I am already regretting the decision of holding it in. Like, you can HEAR them in my stomach,

Hello, Motherlovers. I write to you today as I prepare my partner some burgers. But since we have no burger buns, I have to improvise amd make him a Texas Patty. Minus the Texas toast, just regular...toast? Oh well. And as I do this, he sits at our office/kitchen dining room finishing some invoices and preparing to load the bong. Which we have appropriately named The Riddler due to it's green "trees". Of all to say, my relationship is not the most perfect. But I love it and would have it no other way. From the day we met to present day. An amazing journey. And August has helped cement and make our bond stronger. So, yes, It has it's flaws. Yet one thing my partner and I do a lot of is communicate. We always communicate - that and we live together. We are bound to talk at one point or another. But all jokes aside, communication is key. A lot of us want mind readers. I would know. I expect my partner to be one at a times. Just like he does with me. Just

Amazing how such an astronomical event was able to bring us all together to marvel at how small we are. Just a speck. And, you had to but special equipment just to properly view the show. But is there really a price on celestial events? I was in the office working, and since we were pretty slow, I made a small viewing device , but sadly, it did not work. Luckily, we had welding glasses and in that way were able to watch. But, it was way too hyped, unless you were in the path of Totality. At least it wasn't hot. Was it visible over yonder, nuggets? Muah.

You  just couldn’t wait until I left. You just fucking couldn’t. To think all this time you ran behind my back. Did you ever even love me? Did it occur to you that all this may have been real for me? Did your heart ever have room in there for me or was it all just a lie? Was I a replacement for somebody else? A feel-good fuck? Ahh! You had to bring this slut into our home! Into OUR home! Where our children sleep!. Where I cradled you in my arms when you were to weak to fight. How fucking dare you betray everything we stood for. How fucking DARE YOU!?! Everything we helped build. What am I going to tell the kids? What am I going to tell my kids? How am I going to explain this? Shit. Shit. Fuuuck! They can’t know. How are they going to understand? That I- It’s ok. I got it. I got this. It's ok. Shit. Ok. Think. I need to think. How do I get rid of two bodies? How do I fucking move them? Think, Linda, think.

Hey Motherlovers. I can see that the majority of those who read my blog, or maybe just visit it, are in the United States. The rest of you lovelies are scattered in the other side of the pond. What are the daily events over there? What is grinding your gears? Have you heard what is happening over here? White Supremacist and Neo-Nazi's having rallies and killing protesters. Here in Texas, on September 1st, there will be a new law that is already in place in Arizona. It will allow cops to ask for your papers to prove you are a citizen. Now, one reason I want to stay out of the politics is because I am so tired of hearing and living it on a daily basis. I feel my whole life is revolving over these issues. I am not saying they aren't important because they are, I just am so tired of hearing the same fucking thing. President Trump tweeted today that the Russian Investigation is the biggest witch-hunt in history Trump says North Korea will be met with 'Fire an

Hello, Motherlovers!!!!!!!! How are we doing on this fine weekday? Would you rather fall to your death into a dark pit or would you rather fall to your death landing in open, deep sea creature infested waters? I guess that the only thing that is hard here is knowing and trying to decide what type of death would take me the quickest, and in which I would feel less pain and which choice would give me any chance of survival, no matter how minimal. Let's take a closer look. Choice A: Falling into the dark pit. We fall into a dark pit. Is there a flat surface at the bottom of this dark pit? Are there carnivorous animals, or humans, down there waiting to eat me? Will there be supernatural creatures that will be there to harvest my body and drink my soul? Will I land on spikes? In another universe? Is this pit the Gates of Hell? Or will I just fall down, break every bone in my body and die a slow and painful death? Or just fall and die on impact? We just can't se